Copper's Advice on Writing a Personal Ad

As in all branches of the SM and fetish communities, human ponies and their trainers who can write a decent personal ad seem to be in short supply. Most ads consist of one line of minimal information, which can be very discouraging for those who actually want to play as well as for the poster who is more than likely destined to remain on the market indefinitely.

Any well-written material keeps the desired response of the reader in mind and a personal ad is no different. In this case, you want to get a lot of responses from people you might want to play with. So how do you do that? By writing a short, comprehensible ad littered with relevant information.

The first thing you should include is a basic rundown of who you are, not what you're looking for. People want to see if they are interested in playing with you before they care if you're interested in them. First, you should provide a concise physical description of yourself. Even if you're not looking for sexual play, others will want to know what you look like. It makes you seem more like a real person. And if you are looking for sexual play, it can be really frustrating to spend a lot of time connecting with someone just to find that they're not attracted to you or vice versa. At the very least, describe your overall build, hair color, and any unusual characteristics, like glasses, tattoos, or unusual piercings. If you're male, you may not want to include information about the size of your genitals no matter how humongous (or tiny) they may be. Women who want to know will ask, while women who don't want any intimate details right off the bat will be rendered disinterested.

Then there are those attributes that you might want to keep to yourself and only reveal to those you're seriously considering playing with. I usually choose to exclude information about my breast implants, since a lot of people assume that all implants are uneven, lumpy, over-done masses of scar tissue and accompany a certain, stereotypical personality type that just doesn't apply to me. I've had a lot of problems telling people about them before they see my breasts or talk to me, but virtually none after they've seen the end result and gotten to know me. It's just the way the world works and I like to avoid the anti-implant hate mail. However, these things should definitely be revealed before things progress too far!

You're also going to want to give a description of your personality. Showcase your best characteristics, but also include ones that will attract a like-minded person. It may sound better to say that you're outgoing, but if you're shy, don't hesitate to say so. In the long run you'll be happiest if you don't waste your time meeting a bunch of people you just don't have any chemistry with.

Be sure to include information about your pony persona or trainer style. Do you enjoy Western, English, BDSM, or a combination of approaches to training? Are you strict? Sensual? Mention your experience level, but don't bother recalling your entire history. A short personal ad is more likely to be read in its entirety. Include any limitations that may come up, but don't go overboard. I'm always a little weirded out when someone lists dead bodies or children as a limit. Do they really expect someone to bring a dead body or a kid to a scene? And if they're going that far into detail, it makes me worry a bit about the things they've left out! If you're a pony, mention your temperament, the type of tack you wear or don't wear, and some rewards and punishments that will motivate you.

Don't forget to include information about your location, relationship status, orientation, and, if the posting place doesn't provide a way to contact you and doesn't prohibit the sharing of contact information, an email address you don't mind having crammed with spam. Phone numbers are best given out on a case-by-case basis.

And of course you should include a picture-multiples, if given the option. If you don't have one, get one! You'll get ten times the response with a picture as without one, no matter how fantastic your personal ad is and finding a playmate online is a game of chance. A picture improves your odds. You don't want to chance that one perfect playmate moving on because they filtered out ads with no pictures!

As a model, I have thousands of pictures to choose from for my personal ads and have found that certain images are more enticing than others, while some things don't seem to matter in the least. For example, you don't need to show your face. At all. However, a playful tease like a shot of your torso ending at your lips or an image showing only your eyes can make you seem mysterious and sexy. Showing a little skin seems to work quite well, too, but don't go all out or you'll just attract a horde of drooling perverts. Dress alluringly, but not immodestly. This goes for guys as well as girls. Pictures of yourself in your pony or trainer gear work really well, too, and help make sure your ad stays on target.

As for other guidelines, pictures that work best are usually taken from an angle where it looks like you may not be in control of the camera. If your camera has a timer function, use it. If not, just hold the camera out from your body. If you're female, shooting down will accentuate your feminine attributes, enhancing your curves and enlarging your eyes. If you're male, shooting straight on or up will make your shoulders look broader. The portrait orientation is usually more visually appealing than the landscape orientation. A flattering picture is not an inaccurate picture!

Do not photograph yourself in your bathroom mirror. In fact, avoid restroom photography all together. We've all seen too many profile pictures with a toilet or dirty tub looming in the background. Tidy living rooms and bedrooms, scenery, and plain walls make good backgrounds. Worry about getting something you can work with rather than something that will be perfect as-is. You can always go back and crop the picture later. Try different settings, like flash on, flash off, or macro. Keep in mind that if you stand in front of a white wall, it will affect the lighting and that glass from windows, mirrors, or picture frames can create a nasty glare.

Once you have your base picture, take the time to edit it. This doesn't work for every picture, but if you have Photoshop, try punching up the contrast and saturation by ten to fifteen points. If you have iPhoto, click the enhance option. Picasa is a free option that PC users can employ for basic photo correction. Remove red eye. And, by all means, crop if you need to, but try to maintain close to standard proportions.

After all that is out of the way, you can start to consider describing what you're looking for. This can help you focus your goals, too, if you're the type to just respond to anyone who looks hot or is local. Ask yourself the following questions:

• How often do I want to play?
• Do I want to play in person or online?
• Am I looking for sex? If so, what are my sexual limitations? No anal? Safer sex only? Sex only as training?
• What experience level am I seeking? (New players have their good points, too!)
• Am I looking for a romantic relationship? An exclusive romantic relationship?
• What type of training or play really pushes my buttons?

Then ask people to respond with answers to these questions about themselves! Most people won't, but it makes it slightly more likely that they will if you bullet point your questions as above so that they can just cut and paste them into a response. You can also just list what you're looking for, but people may only say what they think you want to hear, either because they don't mind lying or because they've convinced themselves that they can change if it means playing with you.

Last, but not least, you may want to spell check the whole deal, at least if that sort of thing is important to you. On the other hand, if your spelling is atrocious and you don't care if your playmate's is, why bother?

And what does it look like when it's all put together, you ask? I'm not really looking for play outside of my marriage, but I went ahead and pretended that I was and made up a personal ad of my own!

I'm a 24-year-old, bisexual, married female in the San Francisco Bay Area looking for a female, English style trainer or male pony to attend events with as my pony girl persona, Copper. I also think it would be fun to be owned by a spoiled adult little girl. I'm 5'6", 125 lbs., brunette, and wear glasses. I'm kind of shy and, outside of pony play, I enjoy reading, blogging, and animation.

I've been involved with pony play for a few years both as trainer and as pony. I enjoy showing, dressage, and pulling a cart. I love being groomed, but also being punished with a whip or crop. I'm not looking to be ridden. I like wearing leather tack and am always expanding my collection. I'm anxious to please my trainer and like to feel a sense of accomplishment after training, either because I've lear

ned something new or worked really hard.

If you're interested, please send me a private message including:

• Your location
• Your play interests
• Your style as a trainer or pony boy
• Any fetishes you're into
• Your experience
• Why you answered my ad

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Copper (Penny)